Back in California. It is a quiet but happy re-entry. So far I have only seen Molly/Crow/Rowan, and Jesse when he came to pick up Kale’a. This is the second morning here; last night I went to bed at 10:15 and found myself awake around 5AM. I lay in bed awhile, because it was cozy and warm, and once I was sure I wasn’t tired anymore, I got up. Brushed my teeth, took a cold shower, and now tea and toast at the kitchen table while I read a marvelous issue of The Sun whose theme is food. I feel good. I feel quiet. The world is going on around me and I remember my center here, inside. I think about how patterns can change in my life, if I can learn to accept all those niggly parts of myself and draw them in closer. This year in Portugal brought me the chance to become more intimate with those niggly parts, and now the beauty of Portugal and my loved ones is immediate and fresh to me this early morning. My heart seems situated deeper than here or there.
Archive for the ‘Bits’ Category
The bed seems to keep me pinned into its nest of hazy warmth and labyrinthine dreams. I long for earlier mornings, the quiet of the unfolding summer day, birds in the trees, the chickens out back. My cup of lemon water with a pinch of salt. The five year old still asleep. I wake at 7 when my husband arises. He emerges from the daily ritual of a cold shower (believe it or not, I do it too when I finally get up, and have come to love it) and greets me with kisses and cool skin. For his preference it is already late–and off he goes to his morning work of meditation/yoga/computer. I remain a queen captive to her dream subjects, rising at moments out of these waves longing for the sun, only to fall back heavily into their seas.